First steps to IE

i have turned some corner in my journey in slavery.  i feel myself sinking into the sublime quicksand of submission: His power and authority over me.  Its a breathless place, but i don't need to breathe, just suffocate in Him.

i love His strength, His power, His confidence when He wields a flogger on my back with full force.  i love His taking command of me, and i also love the soft, gentle moments when He tenderly strokes my head.

i want to be at His feet always.  To sit quietly next to Him while He eats dinner or watches TV or is on the computer.  i want to be the footstool under His precious feet, giving them rest.  To be called to Him from wherever and ordered to pleasure Him because that is what He would like.  To take strokes of the cane or belt, simply because He felt like doing that right then.  To fetch and to carry for Him.  

i had a sudden realisation today.  When things around the house are not done properly, it is my fault, even if He was the one to tend to that task.  It should not be up to Him to be doing such things.  If He does and it isn't done to a certain standard, then that is my fault and i should be punished for that, for i was responsible to begin with.  One task around the house that is Master's is putting the rubbish out each week.  Last night this was not done, yet it wasn't His fault it was mine.  When i realised it had not been done, i simply should have gone and done it.  Not reminded Him, as it is not my place to drawer attention to something which might be seen as a fault, to diminish Him.  He should not have to keep track of these things, this is my obligation.  i need to be punished for this and will ask for it tonight.

i feel i have been too defiant for too long.  i have forgotten my place and my role.  i have only recently been made aware of this and i am choosing to rectify it now.  i have protocol which must be followed for it will please Him.  The change however, is not to do this because He commands or because i 'want' to, it is because it is right.  This is the way i need to conduct myself and this is the way that will bring honour to Master because He chose this behaviour.